Zorro says that Loba’s advice column is old school and that she should be an influencer instead. All they have to do is to take photos when they lazy around and eat food. Then companies give them free stuff.
Zorro told Loba to sunbath on a pretty blanket with cucumbers over her eyes. He placed a drink with an umbrella next to her, took a photo and posted it on instadog. Then he ate the cucumbers.
We are waiting for followers, that is what influencers do, he said.
I don’t understand anything.
I have now been a year in Doggy Heaven. I miss Mom and Dad, but I have met Loba, Zorro and Aunt Kara and they are good company to me. Misty is doing a good job looking after Mom and Dad, so we do not have to worry about them anymore.
We have found the perfect property in the shared Heaven for dogs and humans, and we have put deposits down on the ground, so it is reserved for the future. (Yes, those kinds of deposits work here.)
It has many fruit trees and a vegetable garden, a nice view and lots of walking trails nearby. Loba and Zorro have started to build a doghouse in the garden, and I have ordered a people’s house to be built, I prefer that to a doghouse. It will have a fireplace.
Aunt Kara, I and Loba have ordered a plush settee for us to sit on, but Zorro says that he does not want to take part in such decadence. Aunt Kara says she will sleep outside when it is too hot inside from the fireplace.
The house will be ready when Mom and Dad arrive with Misty in the future.
We will live the good life while we wait; I am getting lots of tummy rubs, Loba is roaming around, Zorro is barking at wildlife and Aunt Kara is digging in the snow.
Cheers, Diary
Flurry D. Dog
Dear Dogs in Heaven,
Thank you all, and especially Flurry D. Dog for supporting me when I was living with cats. It was a difficult time for me, but with your help, I am now in a good home.
Thank you, Uncle Zorro for Dr. Bite Barks varmint book, it is remarkably interesting, and I am learning how to deal with all sorts of intruder critters. I promise to keep the deer away from Dad’s vegetables.
Thank you, Aunt Loba for telling Mom to adopt me. I have heard that many dogs will ask you for advice on their problems. No, I am not able to climb over the fence, but I am working on my skills.
Thank you, Aunt Kara for telling Loba that I was a good candidate for the job with Mom and Dad. I have not yet encountered snow, but I look forward doing some digging when I get the opportunity.
I am taking my job assignment very seriously and I will not let you down.
Sincerely
Misty
Dear Aunt Loba,
I live on the streets on Earth, and I have a boyfriend. We once had a litter, but he did not help me at all looking after the little ones. Instead, he went to live with a girlfriend, she is a real b….. She threw him out for food stealing and fortunately, he is back with me. My boyfriend says he has changed, and he would like to have another litter, but I am not sure, do you think I can trust him? He is so handsome, and I like him to stay around.
Uncertain and confused
Dear uncertain and confused,
The answer is clear and easy. No, you cannot trust your boyfriend, and I am at a loss to understand what is handsome about him. I suggest you take him to the vet and tell him he will get a really yummy meal if he goes inside. With any luck, they fix him.
PS. You should try to team up with his ex-girlfriend instead.
Aunt Loba
To Mommy somewhere in the mills,
Dear Mommy,
I am writing to tell you I am well. I had a rough time after we lost contact on the streets, but a kind lady eventually brought me to her home. She was nice and gave me lots of food, the only problem was that she had many cats, and I developed a cat allergy and things were rough.
The dogs in Doggy Heaven took on my case and pleaded for me to get a new home. I have now been adopted by nice people and I am living the life as an only pet!
I am enjoying comfy beds, lots of toys and a well stocked food cupboard.
You would not believe the comfort I have; I wish you could join me. I have three different beds; my favorite has a cozy roof. I have lots of toys and a yard to play in. I get three meals a day, apart from healthy kibble, I get soft food and sardines, even real meat from the best kitchens. Treats are plenty. I have a big bone that I have hidden in the closet amongst the socks just in case my humans want it back.
During the day I can walk in the garden and do as I please. We take walks in the neighborhood and I have new doggy friends. Sometimes we go to the dog park and play, play play! My only duties are to cuddle Mum and Dad and keep the garden free of intruders. The patrol job is easy, the property is fenced so no real danger there. I fell on my four paws!
I have heard that you are back at the puppy mills. You must be up for retirement soon? I am sending some treats.
Your long lost but still loving puppy Misty.
PS. Have you worked out who my Dad is?
Zorro is very enthusiastic about Misty; he keeps on about her all day. There is no end to the praise. Misty is learning quickly, Misty is loyal, Misty is friendly, Misty has a good character, Misty has integrity, Misty is a team player, and most of all: Misty is not frightened of the deer. She runs along the fence and barks at them in a very frenzied way.
“What a change to see such youthful energy,” Zorro says, and he looks at Loba and myself with disdain. “Misty is showing great promise as a guard dog, a lot of potential for the future. And such lovely personality too!” Then he gave her the highest work assessment.
“Notice that she cannot do jobs outside the fence,” said Loba.
“She has potential for the future,” Zorro answered.
“Potential to be considered too old once she is on top of the job,” said Loba dryly.
Then she announced that she is quitting Zorro’s Zecurity. She is starting her own company, giving advice to dogs in trouble. Dogs are invited to submit questions to “Aunt Loba’s Advice”. I will read the letters and write the answers that she dictates.
Zorro wondered how much she thinks she will earn, but Loba said it is charity work as she is fully supported in Heaven. I guess that means I will not be paid either.
Zorro is moaning that he is now without outside the fence capacity, but he better not look at me. Loba says that Zorro’s Zecurity have no jobs anyway so it does not matter. Doggy Heaven is safe.
Misty is getting to know Mom and Dad and she has inspected the house and found a perfect spot to sleep in and a comfy bed. She has been given scrumptious food, sardines, pieces of chicken and even some smoked salmon.
“What’s next,” said Zorro, “caviar?”
I had to look away, caviar is nice. (I only got the cheap sort.)
Misty is glad that the family is cat free, she can eat in peace and quiet.
Dear Diary, this is kind of outrageous, Misty is allowed on the settee! This was forbidden to all previous dogs in the family; Kara, Zorro, Loba and myseIf! I can see that Mom and Dad are getting soft in their old age.
The yard is fully fenced and safe from large animals. Misty thinks it is fun to run along the fence and bark at the deer. They took off with a thunder right away and she got very excited.
Zorro got encouraged and said Misty has the right attitude about varmints, and I think he looked at me reproachingly. On Earth, I was frightened of deer, even seeing them from inside the house.
I don’t think Misty understands what damage those horns, or a kick from the hoofs can do to a little dog. I insist that it is more sensible to not confront the deer. Well, not my problem anymore, Misty can do what she wants. But Zorro should remember that my yard was not fenced! That is a big difference
Dear Diary,
Misty has been rescued! She has been adopted by Mom and Dad and the whole Doggy Heaven is celebrating. Loba is crying, I am crying, Aunt Kara is crying, Zorro pretends he is not crying, and everyone is hugging each other.
Misty is overjoyed and we are so happy that Mom and Dad are looked after by her! From now on, Misty will protect Dad’s vegetable garden. Zorro will send the varmint book to her; he wants a break from Earthly duties. Misty has promised me to not let any cats near the house.
We heard a weird noise from Cat Heaven and Aunt Kara said that it is the cats in Cat Heaven celebrating.
All well that ends well!
We urgently have to find the perfect dog for Mom and Dad, and we have sent out a job advert to Earth.
Position Available: Family Dog
We are looking for a small to medium sized dog to join our family team. The perfect candidate will come with minimal shedding and a friendly disposition, eager to learn and be obedient and a team player. The duties include:
Absolute devotion and love for Mom and Dad.
Security: Alert and awake, stern warnings to all intruders.
Effective varmint patrol: must be able to keep the property clean of intruders such as foxes, deer, raccoons, squirrels and to keep coyotes at bay.
Floor cleaning: removal of all drops of food from the floor.
Bonus skills: Fetch slippers, newspapers etc.
Salary and benefits: Two to three meals a day, kibbles with sardines and soft meats, treats for special duties. Several soft beds, a warm house, a big garden and lots of walks, tummy rubs and hugs. Medical care and retirement included.
Starting date: Immediately
Inquire to Flurry D. Dog in Doggy Heaven.
We were sitting in Doggy Heaven and looking at Mom and Dad’s new property when we spotted a coyote nearby! Mom and Dad were still asleep as it was early morning. We all barked loudly: “wolf, wolf, warning wolf!”
Mom woke up and asked Dad “Did you say wolf?” Dad said no, he had not said anything about a wolf. But Mom insisted that she heard him clearly say wolf, but he denied it.
Dad then got up and went on a morning walk. After a while, he saw the coyote at a distance and manage to get a photograph with his phone which he later showed Mom.
“I clearly heard someone say wolf,” she said. “What a coincidence.”
Coincidence? Hardly. It is frustrating for us dogs in Heaven when the people do not understand that we are communicating with them.
Angel Dog Diary 