Finally, I asked Uncle Zorro if he and Aunt Loba were married. “Of course,” said Zorro, “would not have it any other way. We were married by Master in the garden in South America and we have been sharing bowls ever since, on Earth and in Heaven.”
Loba said she never got a ring and that there has mainly been sharing of her bowl.
Apparently, it was an arranged marriage.
Diary, the dogs have been vindicated.
Today, I read in News from Earth that people are given tablets with baby poop as medicine for treatment of various illnesses. Finally, they learned!
We dogs have always known the benefits of poop eating, and we were always told off about it! Life is unfair. And poop tastes good, especially rabbit poop and baby poop.
Taste that, Diary!
Uncle Zorro has recently checked on Mom and Dads garden, and he found a squirrel infestation and other intruders. Zorro call the pests “varmints”. He says that one of the more important duties for a dog is to keep the varmints away from their Master’s garden. (He never mentions Mistress’ garden). Then he told me stories of varmints he and Loba had chased away in South America. Small rodents, possums, sloths (what is that?), poisonous critters like spiders, alacranes (scorpions), snakes, and larger animals like other dogs, foxes and even people.
“The craziest day was when the monkeys came,” explained Zorro, “they threw sticks at us and we could not get them in the trees, although Loba tried. It was constant work, sometimes we took turns sleeping. We were on the job, day and night”.
Uncle Zorro asked about my varmint strategy and what had been the most common problem. I did not have any answers, other than that my job as a pet was to be a companion to the family and that I did not deal with the garden much. I told him that I once saw a deer through the window, and it was very scary and huge, so I trembled and hid in the kitchen.
Uncle Zorro was rather careful in his wording, but I think he insinuated that I had been lacking on the job. He showed me a book; Varmint Identification for all Dogs by Dr. Bite Bark, D.bs, C. Sc., A. Bc., and B. sh. Zorro asked if I had ever seen the book, and I had to admit I had not. “Hm,” said Zorro, “I thought you were an educated dog”.
“I never took varmint control at the Agility Academy,” I defended myself.
The book was rather well read, it had pawmarks all over and some gunk that I think was drool, on the pages. Zorro showed me pictures of rats, squirrels, racoons, and much more. You could read all about the varmints as well, which time of day and year they like to show up, what they eat and how they defend themselves. Zorro cannot actually read so I guess he just looked at the pictures and worked out his strategy by trial and error. I did not really like the book, but it is Zorro’s favorite. (That, and some old and torn calendar of Chihuahuas that he keeps under his bed.)
“We save the scary pages for another time,” he said. “That will be cats, snakes and large predators.”
I am glad I am in Heaven for dogs.
Angel Dog Diary 