Flurry

Thoughts at the Beach

Today, we spent the day at the beach, it was a fun change except that everyone asked me to swim. “Come on you are a Poodle, you love water”. No, I do not like water, I am a Poodle who fears water. Always suffering for it, but get it, I am a pet Poodle and I do not like water. Stop racial stereotyping.

Zorro was cautious in the water but Loba and Fifi were wild, jumping and diving! They have no breeding and composure according to Zorro. Then he shook his wet fur all over me, just like a stupid dog.

Lots of interesting fish smells on the beach. I wonder if the fish are in fish Heaven? Or is it regular fish? If we eat the fish, are they suffering? I think that is when they go to fish Heaven. So, a bunch of regular fish must do fish duty in our Heaven before going to their own fish Heaven. This is how it must be. Probably.

Rocky the Dachshund has Arrived in Doggy Heaven

Dare Diary, interesting news; Rocky has arrived in Doggy Heaven. Rocky is a Dachshund that came to stay with us after the big flood when his human parents had to live in a hotel which did not accept dogs. It is sad that racism is so prevalent, so I agreed with Mom and Dad to do the right thing and give Rocky temporary shelter in our lovely home.

Earth Rocky was ok, (I guess), very polite. But he was hyperactive and had only three legs after being hit by a car a few years earlier. Rocky knew he was a guest in my home, and he left me alone, even though he barked and lashed out at all other dogs. We occasionally played ball, but we slept on different beds. He vigorously chased the squirrels in the garden, and he was annoying at feeding time, tried to eat my food!

“You snooze, you lose,” said Mum and laughed. But she did keep Rocky away from my food bowl. I never touched Rocky’s bowl. I got a bit resentful; I was behaving well, but somehow, I got the impression that Mom and Dad thought Rocky’s pushiness was a good thing, or at least funny. Not funny at all to me.

It is so crazy, first your owner train and teach you to obey every order and impress on you that this is the behavior they want. You comply. Then they call the rule breakers for “get up and go types”, “entertaining”, or “takes initiative”, and somehow it is a good thing, and those who follows the rules are losers. Can humans please think this through!

When the water retreated from the streets, Rocky went home to his own family again. (I was glad to see him go, although I did not tell him that. I had done my duty to a dog in need, Dr. Goldie.)

The strange thing is – when I met Rocky in Heaven, he had his leg back. Rocky was his old self, running here and there, chasing squirrels and generally being macho. He made friends with Zorro right away. They got involved in a discussion about how to keep varmints out of the yard. Rocky reported to Zorro that I did not keep Moms and Dads yard clean of intruders and that he had done a heck of a job cleaning the place up.

Typical.

Can I get my stuff back? I am talking about my tail.

Free Misty

Dear Diario, we have a serious situation. I have been shown a dog on Earth who lives with 6 cats in a house with a crazy cat lady! It is a white and furry Terrier mix called Misty, the cats are large, smelly and have sharp claws and teeth.

This is a horrible and abusive situation – imagine – living with six cats! The smell, the allergy causing fur, the incessant meeoo, meeoo, and evil jumping up on furniture every time you try to defend yourself. Would not be surprised if the poor dog must eat cat food as well, (although Loba says it’s really tasty).

The dogs in Heaven agree that this dog abuse cannot go on; Misty must be freed. Because I can write, I have been assigned to write a complaint to the Earth Authorities.

Here is my letter: Hello Earth Autrocities, Misty lives with 6 cats and must be rescued and moved to a no cat home immediately. Act now. Signed: Dogs in Heaven.

Many dogs in Heaven have signed with their paw print – we are disgusted and disturbed. We will keep on fighting for Misty, it has become our pet charity cause, (pun intended).

Loba is mailing because I don’t know where the mailbox is.

Peace and Love.

Flurry

Thought of the Day

If dogs ruled the world, who would be top dog?

Can a Yorkshire terrier be top dog? I think there are some that like to be, is it possible? Uncle Zorro insists that he is top dog, but I am hesitant, he does not have higher education from an accredited institute. I have a feeling that Goliath thinks that he is top dog. What about me? Who decides anyway?

Aunt Loba is just laughing at my thoughts. “Dont get into that hornets nest, why don’t we go to the spa for tummy rubs.”

Loba knows how to keep her focus on the important stuff.

Zorro and the Howlers

Dairy, I have exciting news.

We have formed the rock band: Zorro and the Howlers!

Zorro is band leader and lead guitarist, Loba the lead singer, Fifi plays keyboard and I am the drummer because I could not play any instruments. I find it hard to play to the beat but Loba told me to follow her wagging tail, and that works fine. There are a lot of disappointed dogs that did not make the cut, but they are forming a fan club.

Our repertoire so far is: Bad to the Bone (Zorro’s choice), Puppy Love (My choice), Born to be Wild (Loba’s choice) and Angel Dog (Fifi’s choice).

(If you want a taste of a song, search youtube for Bad to the Bone artist George Thorogood or ZZ Top).

We are sounding great and very loud, and we got some cool outfits too. Zorro’s stage clothes have lots of medals. Loba wears a pink bow in her ear and a nice dress, I have sunglasses (but it is difficult to see anything on dark nights which can be a problem if I must follow Lobas tail). Fifi has a long-haired blond wig, she says she always wanted long fur.

Now we are looking for gigs.

Identity Questions

Am I a dog? Or am I a pet? Or a human? I feel Loba and Zorro are a bit more doglike than myself. For example, they did not live in the house. Zorro claims this is because he was on garden duty, and I was on house duty, but I am not sure that is the whole reason.

Sometimes I slept on the bed. Zorro gets very irritated when I explain this. I had a sister that is human. Maybe I am in between? I would eat on the plates but only when the rest of the family was finished. Does it mean I was human but lowest in the pack? I did have clothes sometimes, especially when it rained, or it was cold.

Zorro says I am in Doggy Heaven, so I am a dog and that is the end of the discussion.

Doggy Metoo

Results of recent survey in Doggy Heaven about life on Earth:

I like bacon. Metoo 100%

I was uncomfortable at the vet. Metoo 97%

I was served dried biscuits that tasted like cardboard. Metoo 94%

I was kept on a short leash. Metoo 81%

I was regularly left home alone. Metoo 77% (of dogs with a home)

I was not allowed on the bed. Metoo 27%

I had to live with a cat. Metoo 9%

I was served bacon at least once a week. Metoo 0.1%

It is clear that we have a bacon discrepancy between people and dogs.

My Worst Earth Memory

A stray cat came to our house and Mom and Dad gave it food. Of course, the stupid thing would not be thankful and go away. I do not know what Mom and Dad was thinking. The outrage was, the cat got better food that I did, like meat and sardines, when I was eating dry dog kibbles.

The stinking creature was at the door every day, making its sucking up “meeoo meeoo,” and everyone was uttering stupid noises of sympathy. “Oh, you poor thing, oh, are you hungry, oh, are you cold.” It was nauseating to see how easily my people were manipulated.

After a few days of this, the beast got bold and entered the house and went straight to my food bowl and eat up my dog biscuits as well. I was beside myself, barking and trying to get somebody to do something! My people, my own family, just laughed…

Eventually the cat disappeared to never return, but it almost gave me a heart attack. The cat threatened me, and I never did anything bad to it. After this, I don’t like cats, don’t trust them. I am grateful that the cats are behind a wall and contained in Cat Heaven. I hope it is a big wall.

Back to the Therapy Dog

On Earth, most people who did not know me, called me puppy, even when I was a senior and graduate of the Agility Academy. Little children would go all enthusiastic when they saw me, and their caretaker would ask if their little pumpkin could pet the puppy? I was 14 years old and they still called me a puppy!

Basically, I was a miniature poodle, cute and fluffy. I sat down nicely and let all children pet me. Most were good, some were rough, but I never complained. I was good at being a petable pet, but it was not really my thing.

I talked to Dr. Goldie, the therapy dog, about the lack of respect. She says I was called puppy because of my personality but I don’t think Dr Goldie is right. She thinks that because she as a Golden Retreiver, was not called puppy after the age of 6 months.

People really do judge the dog after the hair and the size. Dogs don’t care much about the hair, mostly they worry about the size and how they smell.

I wonder what is wrong with my personality?

Dr. Goldie’s place smells of bacon.

Zorro and the Irish Wolfhound

There is an Irish Wolfhound called Goliath here in Doggy Heaven. He lives quite far away from us, but Uncle Zorro and I met him while taking a stroll in the park. I noticed some tension between him and Zorro. Goliath gave us a huge smile (lots of teeth) and turned to Zorro:

“Are you the fellow I had an encounter with, in South America?”

“Indeed, I am,” answered Zorro. “You are Goliath, I remember having my head inside your jaws, was just checking your tonsils.”

“And I remember that I cleaned your ears,” said Goliath. “Well, have a pleasant day.”

And he moved on. Zorro looked after him. “Not sure I am over that incident,” he muttered.

Later, on a park bench, Zorro explained. “Goliath and I lived on the same street in South America. I never liked the guy and especially, I did not appreciate his superior attitude. He always made me move out of the way when we met on the street. He thinks he is so clever and brave, but he is just big and quite stupid. Once he got fooled by two cats, he chased one while the other took his lunch. Clueless.”

“One day,” continued Zorro, “I decided to teach Goliath a lesson in respect and I stood my ground when he approached. Well, we had an altercation and somehow, I ended up with my head inside his mouth. Yes, I saw the inside of those jaws. Master saved me by forcing open the jaws of Goliath. We may be in Heaven, but I still do not like Goliath. And his tonsils are smelly.”

Loba asserted that what Zorro said is true.

“Zorro bites above his weight,” she added.