Author: Flurry

Air Flights and Dogs

Dear Diary, the days in Doggy Heaven are passing fast with not much to do, which is how I like it.

Today I read in Earth News of a dog dying during an air flight. I was once flying in the cargo hold and I do not want to do it again – it was one of the worst experiences of my life!

Now, I discussed the horror with Zorro, but he does not believe I have been flying in an airplane. He thinks I was transported in a truck overland because I was in my cage. I am sure I was flying in an airplane, but it was window less so I could not see out. I had that flying feeling and all the other dogs around me said we were flying to Juiceston. It was an awful racket when the plane took off and we all peed ourselves in fear.

I am sure I was flying. The cage was dropped off and picked up at different airports. Years later, we drove near the airport in Juiceton and I got so nervous, I pooped in the car. Mom said I had the memory of a Poodle!

Zorro is just jealous of nothing to be jealous about. Fortunately, I never had to fly again. I don’t think dogs should fly; it is not safe to leave your territory anyway, people and their dogs should stay at home!

Bilbo the Labrador

A Labrador named Bilbo arrived today, he was only 6 years old. Apparently, he had eaten 4 tennis balls, 3 ping pong balls, 1 mobile phone, 11 plastic bags, and a load of knick-knacks, including rubber bands. It was the battery in the mobile phone that got him.

I am not sure Labradors are that bright, even though they say so. I guess he subscribed to Zorro’s motto of “eat first and taste later.”

Debate about Greyhounds

Zorro had planned a debate today with this topic: Are Greyhounds naturally talented runners or is their speed due to training?

There was no debate because no-one wanted to discuss it. Speedo the Greyhound barked that he for sure trained hard. Then he went to sleep. Blizzard was nowhere to be seen, there is a rumor that he is being pampered by the Authorities.  Fifi muttered that the debate is meaningless. Slinky the Dachshund rolled his eyes and said he wanted to bite the legs of all the Greyhounds and Whippets. We had to hush him down because no aggressive talk is allowed in Doggy Heaven.

Zorro’s Zecurity

Zorro is planning a new business in security. His specialty will be intruder and varmint control around properties. Loba came up with the name: Zorro’s Zecurity.

Charges will be paid in tins of dog food and sardines, double fee for jobs outside the fence. “Outside the fence is very risky,” says Zorro, “there is the dog pound people, not to talk about coyotes and cars”.

I asked how he would get outside the fence? He said those jobs are for Loba. He would keep gardens clean and my job would be to count the pay.

Do we really security in Doggy Heaven? Or is Zorro dreaming of Earth time? ZZZZZZZZ

Guard Dog Needed

Mom and Dad are concerned because there has been a spate of break-ins in the neighborhood. Mom said that they need a guard dog.

“I can fix that,” said Dad. Then he made a sign saying Beware of the Dog and put it up in the front garden. The sign has a picture of Zorro. “This will do it,” said Dad.

Zorro is very proud. “I control the neighborhood even in my death,” he says.

Doggy Ambitions

“What is your thing” Loba asked me today. I have thought deeply about that. What is wrong with eat, sleep and tummy rubs? Seems to work for the Greyhounds most of the time.

“You should work for your living” says Zorro, “contribute. I myself was a guard dog, the best.”

Then he shakes his head so the medals attached to his collar makes a clanging noise.

“Really, if I come back to Earth, I want to be a police dog. I would be a great police dog. Bite first and bark later, he, he.”

Zorro keeps on repeating this, and he looks smug when he is finished.

Loba says she would have liked to be a circus dog on Earth. “No, you don’t” says Zorro, “they just walk around in circles on their hind paws. Not your style. You want to be a Ninja dog. You know, the type that overcomes impossible obstacles.”

Loba was a legend in the neighborhood in South America and she would have made a great Ninja dog. “She was impressive in her younger days” says Zorro. “But I did not need to climb, I could undo the bolt on the gate! Brain over brawn.”

At the Dog Races

At the Racing Grounds

Der Dary, I will tell you about the races. It was a big and tiring day. For the first time, Loba was wearing a hat, it was pink and had roses. Fifi’s hat was yellow and Rocky had a green baseball cap. Zorro had a top hat, like the magicians on TV. I did not know we were supposed to wear hats, so I grabbed my old Santa hat. (By the way dear Diary, only in Heaven does dogs wear hats voluntarily. Don’t make dogs on Earth wear hats!)

The race arena was intimidating; lots of dogs everywhere, betting, eating, barking and creating a racket in general. Some were elegantly groomed with decorated collars and scarves.

The racing dogs were another breed, literally. Quiet, slinky, shivering Greyhounds. They are beasts, extreme running machines. I could not believe how fast they got around that track. I think Zorro was flabbergasted too. Rocky, Fifi and Loba were cheering and screaming for the leader in every race, but Zorro was quiet. Maybe he was losing money?

A pack of Italian Greyhounds were seated next to me and they were so excited. One called Sliver told me they are here to learn the trade until they have grown up. Sliver had been a pet on Earth but always wanted to be a racer. I did not have the heart to tell him the truth. Sliver said he was training every day.

The most important race of the day was won by a stripy grey and brown Greyhound called Blizzard. He had been a racing star on Earth as well. Blizzard walked around with a wreath around his neck and gave autographs. Loba and Fifi got one, but Zorro and Rocky did not bother, I did not care either. Blizzard seemed kind of haughty.

Zorro says he will not go back again. “Don’t agree with all that gambling, it is not moral.”

I don’t think I like the races either, too much commotion. And the Greyhounds have a superior attitude. Like they are looking down on other dogs.

Must stop writing, need to sleep.

Dog Racing

Dear Diary, some of my friends in Doggy Heaven are a little tiring because they like to do running races. I am talking about Zorro, Loba, Fifi and Rocky. Running is not my cup of tea.

Zorro boasts that he always wins. “Every day in South America, we were let off leash and Loba had a head start but I always caught up with her! It drove me nuts that she did not wait for me, I wrestled her to the ground and gave her a good telling off. Still, she never changed.“

“Yeah,” said Loba, “that’s right, every day you had to tell me to stay behind you.” She whispered to me that Zorro is a control freak and a chauvinist. 

Fifi is a very strong dog but she cannot run as fast as Zorro. Rocky is also very energetic and is trying hard, but his short legs does not cut it. 

“Tunnel racing is my game,” says Rocky. And then he challenged us to go into a badger hole any day! We declined.

Zorro thinks he should be a racing dog, apparently there is big prize money in dog racing. Tomorrow there are Greyhound races in Doggy Heaven, and we have decided to go. Well, my friends decided to go, and I am tagging along to be social because Dr. Goldie told me to get out more.