Flurry

Zorro Goes to Cloud 9

Zorro has been looking at the mail all day, he is still hoping for one of those letters. “Must be a mistake,” said Zorro, “I think I will go to Cloud 9 and talk to the directors.” Loba and I went with him.

The Club was elegant with lots of comfy leather chairs and settees where dogs were lounging around. Some were playing cards and drinking whiskey, it did not look that cultural to me.

Zorro asked to speak to the administrator. It was a fine Blood Hound called Charles. Zorro explained that his invitation must have been lost in the mail, and could he be so kind and check their record of invitees. Charles checked on different pages but could not find Zorro’s name.

“Surely,” said Zorro, “look under Royal Scottish Guard Dog”. Charles looked and looked, and then he said, “I am sorry Sir, but this breed is not recognized by the Pedigree Club. The Heavenly Pedigree Club,” he added.

Zorro was getting agitated. “This is not right, there must be a mistake you have it wrong”, he argued, but Charles did not look overly concerned. “Sir,” Charles said, “I will have to ask you to leave the premises now, thank you for coming by.”

Zorro insisted, “There has been a mistake and I demand that it is corrected. I am Zorro, El Zorro, Royal Scottish Guard Dog, with long guard dog service to my Master.”

Charles turned around and rang a little bell. Promptly two Rottweilers turned up. “Remove him,” said Charles and nodded towards Zorro.

“Come on, let’s leave,” said Loba. She turned to Charles and the Rottweilers and continued: “we did not realize this is the Inbred Club, so sorry to have bothered you,” and we quickly walked out of the door.

“They are sniffing my butt,” said Loba.

Zorro now says he will never join a club that would not admit Loba as well.

Hybrid Vigor

All the dogs are talking about the Pedigree Club and wondering if they should join or not. That is, the dogs that got an invitation, which are less than half the dogs in Heaven. Some dogs think it is too expensive, but most that received the letter seem willing to pay the price.

“It’s very cultural,“ said a Cocker Spaniel, “we can protect the herding dogs,” said a Border Collie, “we can focus on the Royalty,” said a Corgi, “I can get better grooming at the club,” said a Welsh Terrier, “and the treats are sumptuous,” said a Bulldog.

Toff has explained that he is descended from a long bloodline of champion Bassets directly from the foundation dog, Hubert Spartan Basset the first. Every ancestor of his has been bred from the finest Bassets in every generation, creating his superior looks and blue blood.

Loba thinks he looks sickly with his short legs, fat stomach and long ears. ”Pedigree and blue blood, sniff my butt, Toff is inbred while I have hybrid vigor,” she said before she took off roaming with Fifi.

Zorro looks unhappy; he is nervously waiting for his letter. “It’s coming, it’s coming,” he mutters while he is walking around in circles. I tried to give him my letter, but he said it would not work, he needs his own personal invitation.

I wonder what hybrid vigor is?

Letter from The Pedigree Club

Dear Diary, do you remember Toff the superrich Basset Hound? Well, today I got a letter from him. I have never had a letter in my life (on Earth or in Heaven) so it was quite exciting. The letter had a big gold seal. Aunt Loba and Uncle Zorro opened it with me, Zorro thought the letter looked like it was coming from the king.

This is what the letter said:

Honorbale Flurry D. Dog,

As a founder and Presidennt, I am pleased to inform you that you have passed our detailed scrutinty of superior breeding. This is an exslusive offer inviting you to be a member of the newly established Heavenly Peddigree Club (PC). The Pednigree Club will protect the pedigree dog breeds and ensure high quality in our lifestyles. Membreship is only offered to a small selecetive group of the finest dogs and yearly dues are 50 tins of either sardins, makrell or Toffs’ Tins superior selection.

I look forward meeting you in our locals at Cloud 9.

Signed Sir Toff Archibald Cyril Basset III.

I do not know what to think. I don’t know what a pedigree club is, and I don’t think I could get along with Toff, I find him scary. And the hefty dues!

Zorro rushed around a tried to see if had got a letter too, but there was none. Old Aunt Kara had a letter of invitation, and so did Fifi, but not Rocky or Loba.

Loba said I could join if I want, she called it the PC Piss Club and she is not interested, but she says I can go and move up in the world if I like that sort of thing.

Vacations and Boarding

Mom and Dad are going on vacation. “That is easy now when we don’t have a dog,” said Dad, ”we can just leave when we feel for it, its quite comfortable to be dog free.”

“And much cheaper to not have to pay for dog boarding,” said Mom.

They are leaving the house empty; can you believe it! “Quite irresponsible,” said Zorro, “never leave your den unguarded”.

“Or the food bowl,” said Loba.

Boarding is a very bad Earth memory. When my family needed to travel overseas, they did not bring me. Not that I wanted to go anyway. I voted for everyone staying at home all the time, but nobody was listening.

Boarding kennels are not my style. I know, some dogs say they are ok, that they meet new friends etc, even wag their tails when going to boarding kennel, but for me, NO, NO, NO! The dogs are noisy and threatening and I am a pet, I hate the degradation of boarding. Like that little cage is replacing my HOME. Sometimes I wondered why I was in jail? What had I done? Was snatching a piece of meat from Dads plate really such a crime? And I never knew for how long I would stay.

Boarding is the one grudge I hold toward my family. What were they thinking?

After I got sick from boarding once, my family hired a lady to stay with me in the house when they travelled. It was not that fun because she was not my family and she mostly worked on her computer, but a lot better than boarding. I do not like vacations; glad I am in Heaven now and don’t have to deal with the interruption of my routines. No horrible boarding jails, no strangers living in our house.

Snow in Doggy Heaven

Old Aunt Kara has told us a lot about the snow in Sweden. “It’s great” she says. “Cools you down right away, very cozy for digging a sleeping shelter”. (She likes digging because she is a terrier).

Well, I know about snow too, and I don’t like it. Awfully cold, and it gets onto your fur until you have little ice packets hanging off you. It goes into your paws as well, and it is cold. No snow for me, thanks.

Now, it was so that some dogs overheard our discussion and got involved. Some were for snow, and some were against, it was almost like one of those debates Zorro likes to host. All the sled dogs like snow, they say they can’t stand heat. The skinny racing dogs dislike snow and ice, they can’t stand the cold.

Should we have snow or not in Doggy Heaven? Well, this is Heaven, so everyone is happy, there is a part with snow and another without. We are free to choose where to live and play. One temperature does not fit all!

Kara brought Zorro and Loba to play in the snowy part. Loba said it was fun for short periods but too cold in the long run for her. Of course, she is short furred! Zorro liked it until he lost his bone in the deep snow. I did not bother going, had enough of snow when I lived in Caninadia. Kara is mostly hanging out in the snow area.

The Misty Cause

Misty is still living in misery with the cats and nothing seem to change on that front. I must help and I have decided to write another letter to the authorities.

Dear Who is in charge,

It continues to be a disgrace to have a dog living with eight cats. We must clarify that this is a small dog that cannot possibly defend itself against the evil felines. Make sure that the dog is rescued immediately, or better, that the cats are removed from the home.

Sincerely,

All dogs in Heaven.

We stepped all over the letter with dirty paws which should have impact.

Eating Out

Today, Loba is wearing the new collar with the pink rose, although we do not have to wear collars in Heaven. Still, Zorro always wears a collar with his medals attached. Like most dogs here, I usually do not bother with a collar, but today I dressed up in my light blue collar with glittering letters saying Woof!

Zorro adjusted Lobas collar, first he had the flower on the left side, where her eye is brown and the ear down, then he tried it on the right side with the blue eye and the ear up (Husky side). We all agreed that Husky side looked the best.

Then we went out to a restaurant for fine dining. We had to sit on soft cushions and eat out of fancy bowls decorated with doggy bones. Zorro ordered lobster which I had never had before. Weird taste, very marine, but delicious. For dessert we had liver flavored ice cream. An Afghan lady was howling in the background for entertainment, it was an elegant experience.

Are Vets Good or Evil?

Deare Dary, I had a bad experience at debating today. All the dogs laughed at me. The topic was: Are vets (as in veterinarians) good or evil? It was Zorro against Rocky. It went like this:

Rocky: I used to be like most dogs; I disliked vets! I though they wanted to hurt me, after all they came with their needles, clipped my nails, checked my ears and many unmentionables. Mom used to say it was all right, but how could it be? The vet hurt me.

Then one day, I followed a squirrel. Bang, I was hit by a car! I will spare you the details, but it was gruesome, and I barely survived. Sadly, my left back leg did not, it was pulverized. (The squirrel survived.)

Mom rushed me to the last place I wanted to go – the VET! She had to carry me, I was barely conscious and could not defend myself. But the vet right away did something wonderful, he put a needle in me, and the pain went away! The vet was kind and gentle and all the helpers caressed and attended to me.

I fell asleep for a long time and when I woke up, all the vet assistants looked after me and spoiled me rotten and I felt well. The leg was gone but I healed and could go back home. I almost did not want to go home; I liked the constant attention and massages. I was even spoon fed! I learned that vets could take away pain and be kind when you are scared and hurting. After this episode, I changed my mind about vets, and now I love my vet!

We all teared up for Rocky’s lost leg. In Heaven he got it back and he was so proud! Rocky’s fine speech was giving Zorro an uphill battle for sure.

Zorro: Fellow dogs, you are quick to forget. The vet gives you needles, he pokes you, and how many of you have been fixed? I am asking you! Think about it! The vets have a conspiracy – yes, they talk all nice and give you treats, that which by the way, never taste good! The vets tell your people to not feed you at the table! The vet himself eat at the table. Maybe we should feed the vet dry dog food? I guess he would not eat it, but he says we should. No, vets are selfish creatures in disguise. They pretend to help you, but all they want is to restrict your food and take your balls!

Here is where it went wrong for me when I intervened” “The vet never took my balls, we always left them at the house.” Everybody started laughing and Loba motioned to me to keep quiet. A group of Chihuahua ladies were especially amused. Zorro turned to me with an embarrassed grin that seemed to say, “shut up.”

The crowd laughed and shouted, “he means fixed!”

Oh, those balls. Well, I have none and I do not miss them. The dogs I knew with those kinds of balls, were constantly irritated and looked for ladies and were never satisfied. Totally irrational to me. As I seemed to be alone in this view, I kept quiet.

By now, the audience broke out in chatter and appeared confused, what is the deal with vets? Everyone had a vet horror story, few had anything positive to remember, but the treats. But as Zorro pointed out, it was never good tasting treats, always that healthy stuff.

In conclusion, the crowd decided that maybe some vets are nice, like Rocky’s vet, but most are psychopaths. I disappeared unnoticed and embarrassed Dear Diary.

Water Play Day in Doggy Heaven

Water play day is fun! We had water sprinklers and paddling pools all over the park. It was exciting to chase the spray around and jump in and out of the pools, even the Bulldogs joined in. The Poodles and Cockers jumped into deep water and fetched balls, while some breeds were a little more cautious and just got their paws wet. Zorro showed that he can stand on his hind legs and drink from the hose.

Loba loved her raincoat but did not play, she just walked around and looked elegant and important. She said she did not want to get the raincoat wet.

Raincoats

Earth Pansy got a new raincoat today. It is yellow with pink and green flowers, extraordinary pretty! Pansy looks adorable.

Loba said that she never had a raincoat on Earth, she looked sad. I did not tell her that I had about 5 different coats to choose from, but I did not like any of them. Especially not the ones with hats.

Zorro and I have decided to surprise Loba and buy her a raincoat. First, we thought we could get it online but there was no breed description that fitted Loba, so we decided to choose one in the shops. Yes, we have shops here in Doggy Heaven, well, they are just storage areas where we can get anything we want.

We selected a pink raincoat decorated with white doggy bones. Zorro also selected a collar with a big pink rose for Loba. Then we discussed how and when we should give her the present. As a former street dog, Loba’s birthday is unknown. I suggested a rainy day but then we remembered that it rarely rains in Doggy Heaven so we decided to have a water play day tomorrow and give her the coat then! All the dogs are invited.