Positive Thinking

This week, I talked to Dr. Goldie about my fear of cats. She told me it is all in my head, cats are not a danger to dogs, and in fact, many cats and dogs are great friends!

I told her about the cat that ate my food and she advised me to be more assertive. “It is easy,” she said, “you approach the cat with determined steps and a stern expression, and it will go away, guaranteed. If necessary, you can give a sharp bark, and its done.”

I tried to say it was easy for her, because she is bigger than the cat, but she would not agree. “There are plenty of Yorkshire terriers and Chihuahua’s that can frighten away cats. The fear is all in your head, think positively, be confident and you can do it.”

I guess, maybe … but I am not so sure a cat would move if I approached. I guess her talk was meant to make me feel safe around cats, but it only made me feel … like a failure.

Then she asked if I was not glad to share my food with a homeless cat? She said I would be happier if I was more generous to the needy and that I must stop focusing on myself. Dr. Goldie suggested that I volunteer in a homeless animal shelter to see how the less fortunate live, but I pointed out that we are in Heaven and no one is homeless. (I also do not think Uncle Zorro would share his food bowl with a cat, even a homeless cat, but I did not say that.)

Before leaving, Dr. Goldie told me she was a motivational speaker and she would love to talk about “Positive Thinking” at the Gardening Club. She asked me to recommend her to the board, her fee is payable in bacon. She also asked if I had any bacon to share, which I did not.

I wonder why she does not go to the food store and get some bacon, it is free in Doggy Heaven?