I did not have to worry; fireworks are not allowed in Doggy Heaven.
We made our New Year’s resolutions: I would work to free Misty, Loba would keep better house and Zorro said he would be more patient with Loba and myself. “It is hard,” said Zorro, but he assured us he would really try.
By the way, I heard that Dr. Goldie promised to never touch bacon again.
Only annoying thing was that Zorro played bagpipe music all evening.
Dear Diary, I am thinking deeply about people. We dogs try so hard to take care of them, but they just don’t learn. Examples:
People waste money on boring chew toys when it is much tastier to chew on Daddy’s slippers. People store food and do not eat it up right away. It is very risky to leave food. They could at least dig it into the ground.
People say they want to spend more time with their dogs and families, but they go scavenging all day, even when the cupboards are full.
I am starting to get worried about New Year’s Eve, it is the worst day of the year.
Dear Diary, it was Christmas yesterday and we had so much fun until late in the night, I was too tired afterwards to tell you what happened.
All the dogs were called to Christmas celebrations on a field, but the Pedigree Club had their own celebration at Cloud 9. The real Santa Claus came from the Northern Star and we all got bouncy balls and old slippers to chew up. Loba gave Zorro a frame for his breed photo, he was terribly pleased.
“She loves me after all,” he said with tears in his eyes.
In Doggy Heaven, we get to eat the Christmas ham and all the other treats! My favorite was liver pate, Loba liked meat balls and Zorro and Auntie Kara preferred smoked salmon. All the dogs could eat anything they liked.
Then we danced around the Christmas tree after Zorro marked it up.
“He did the same on Earth.” Loba whispered to me, (marking the Christmas tree I mean, not dancing).
Loba asked Zorro what he wanted for Christmas and he said: “that you stop roaming”. Then Zorro asked Loba if she and Fifi were going to Roam again? She said yes and Zorro said he would rather go to Athens!
“Sniff my butt,” said Loba and disappeared over a fence.
Merry Christmas, Diary!
Last year, Fuji went to Palm Springs for Christmas. He was chosen because Mom and Dad needed the extra cargo space for a Christmas tree and all the presents. First, he was taken to the garage for a full make over. New battery, new oil and the whole nine yards. He was so happy. “Have a Happy Christmas”, he roared to Victor as he left the garage, “you can talk to Schwinn.” Schwinn is a 30-year-old rusty bicycle that never says a word.
Victor scoffed that he has already been to California. Then he went to sleep for days. He and Schwinn.
At one stop Fuji got to stay at a Holiday Inn. There he met a cute Mazda he can’t stop talking about. Apparently, she had red paint and was going to Phoenix.
Mom and Dad have two cars, they are Victor the Volvo and Fuji the Subaru. These two do not get on. I used to hear them arguing in the garage but for some reason, Mom and Dad were ignoring them.
Victor has leather seats and goes to all the fancy city events. Fuji is a basic model; he takes loads and is mostly used on country roads. But he is a little bit younger than Victor.
There is constant jealousy between these two cars. For example, one-time Fuji was parked for two weeks in the open at the airport. When Victor was parked only one week at the airport, he was under cover in the multistory!
Another time, Mom and Dad took Victor to an exciting trip to North Carolina. Fuji was furious, he felt he would have been better on the mountain roads. To make matters worse, they gave Victor the spa treatment when he came back. Full wash and wax, new oil, and tire rotation. Fuji was so upset he banged his head on a pillar and got an ugly scratch above his left headlight. After this, Mom and Dad separated Victor and Fuji with the folded-up ping pong table between them. It has made the garage a lot quieter.
The cars complained to me when they had a chance. I kind of feel with Fuji, Victor is always a little stand offish. Maybe it is because I pooped on his leather seat once.
Zorro says that he might get master’s Volvo when he gets a new car. He says he will look hot in that car. “In that case, I prefer the Subaru,” said Loba, “I am more of an outdoors girl.”
I don’t want a car. Any time we went in a car, we went to the vet or to boarding. But Loba and Zorro says they never went in the car and they really want to have a ride. Apparently, their vet came to the house
Dear Dairy, I noticed that Pansy is sleeping in Elise’s bed. That’s normal and good practice, but Pansy is under the covers. She is so cute. I wonder when I can meet her, and would she find me attractive? I know she does not like big dogs.
PS. Don’t tell anyone, especially not Zorro.
Today Zorro and I have been writing Loba’s breed description. It was quite difficult, mostly we did not know what to call her breed, but here it is:
Breed Description
Siberian South American Climbing Dog (SSACD)
A medium sized dog with a well-proportioned frame but slightly less muscular than Royal Scottish Guard Dog.
Coat: wheat (off white), smooth, short haired.
Ears: one ear up and one ear folded down.
Eyes: standing ear side blue, folded ear side brown.
Tail: long.
Temperament: friendly but not obedient, does not want to learn, will not follow orders, likes to roam, climbs, escape artist, likes to be free and likes sardines.
Overall impression: character dog, no known physical defects, healthy, smart, and friendly, but individualistic. Do not get this breed unless you have an 8 feet walled garden.
History of breed: Foundation dog: Loba, aka Lady Loba from South America, roots in Siberia.
We could not afford to pay for a photograph. There are very few dogs of her breed, she may be the only one. Does that make her more valuable?
This morning, Zorro woke me up early.
“If these idiots don’t know what a Royal Scottish Guard Dog is, I will explain it to the world,” he barked. “Toff may be related to a foundation dog, but I am the foundation dog of the Royal Scottish Guard Dog breed! Flurry, you have to help me to write my breed description.”
This is what we decided on:
Breed Description
Royal Scottish Guard Dog (RSGD)
A right sized dog (medium) with a well-proportioned muscular frame, strong chest, elegant nose and strong jaws.
Coat: golden, short haired but rich.
Ears: standing, long.
Eyes: brown.
Tail: long.
Temperament: intelligent, obedient, keen to learn, brave with affection to police, military and guard duties. Devotion to Master, likes tartan, bagpipes and sardines. A natural leader.
Overall impression: an exceptional dog, no known defects, athletic, healthy, smart, good looking, proud, a superior breed. Criteria must be rigidly applied before admitting to the breed registry.
History of breed: Foundation dog: Zorro, aka El Zorro from South America, roots in Scotland and in British Royalty.
I asked him if he really liked bagpipes and he said that all Scots do, so he does like it.
Then Zorro said he needed a good photo of himself to illustrate the breed standard. We went to a professional photo studio and a nice Springer Spaniel, suitably named “Shot”, assisted by a Dachshund called “Blitz” welcomed us. They were real professionals!
Zorro explained what the purpose of the photograph was and Shot showed Zorro how to stand with head up and erect ears and Blitz shone lots of lights on him. To emphasize Zorro’s exceptional quality, Shot placed a large trophy in front of Zorro. This was all in their studio and as a background, a view of some mountains was chosen. “It will give you the noble and strong effect that you are after,” said Blitz.
He also offered to hang laurels around Zorro’s neck, and photoshop in some crests, but Zorro declined. He said it could appear boastful and he did not want to upset the dogs without pedigrees.
“How thoughtful of you,” said Shot and then he took loots of shots of Zorro. They came out beautifully. I could see that Zorro was pleased. “The background is the gravy on the meat,” said Zorro.
“I’m a pro,” said Shot, “that will be 25 tins of Toff’s select, please, preferably turkey flavor”. I had to help Zorro with the pay, now he owes me 22 tins.
Dear Diary, I don’t want to join the Pedigree Club, and none of my friends are joining. Aunt Kara and Fifi say they don’t like to be indoors and it is not worth the tins.
Zorro has been feeling sick and faint all day and the vet discovered that he has high blood pressure. Loba is measuring it every hour, giving him massages and telling him to relax and breath slowly.
Zorro says he is stressed because of all the responsibilities he has. Like keeping varmint off Master’s garden and looking after me and Loba.
Angel Dog Diary 