Train Your Human!

Today I will write about a common problem I observed on Earth. Dogs do not train the humans in their life.

Once you are introduced into the human home, you need to set boundaries: like, I will sit on the settee, I will sleep on the bed and most important of all: I will eat better than dry dog kibble. It is hard to train humans, they are stubborn, but with consistency and patience it can be done. Simply, do not give up, ever.

At night: howl and bark and scratch for hours. The instinct of self-preservation will set in for the human, to get a few hours of sleep, they will let you on the bed. Problem solved!

Food: Just do not eat the kibble. Do not eat it even if you starve, think long-term and hold out. The second day they will feed you soft canned dog food, and if you are lucky, chicken breast. The chicken will turn up no later than the third day if you just control yourself. For a small puppy, this transformation will happen within hours of coming home, I guarantee it.

When you do not have success with your human, take revenge. Find a soft shaggy carpet and poop on it. Do it in front of their eyes, make sure to have eye contact. You will get immediate attention to your complaints.

If you are consistent with the training, you will be set for life! (I was).