Tag: Flurry D. Dog

More Trouble!

I have been contacted by a lawyer called “The Slammer” and he has filed a class action lawsuit against Zorro. Over 300 Chihuahuas are suing him for property claims and alimony. The Slammer wants to share out Zorros kennel, toys, food supplies and the Mustang to the plaintiffs that say that they married Zorro and have a prenup promising them these things in case of divorce.

First, I got really alarmed and wondered what Zorro has been up to, but after sorting the papers, I noticed that all Chihuahuas only had three names: Lola, Peach and Tinkerbell, 100 claims each. Tinkerbell has included a picture of 14 pups that she said Zorro has abandoned. The pups look sad but are in different sizes and ages and they do not resemble Zorro at all. Tinkerbell is not agreeing to a DNA test of the “pups”. After closer examination I proved that all papers were photocopied. And the name below the pawprint is not Zorro, it is Sorry!

Sorry, Slammer, you lost the case.

Flurry D. Dog (Can read and write)

Trouble!

Today was a nightmare. As Zorro’s lawyer, I had to explain to three different very angry Chihuahuas that their prenups were invalid. They were yapping and waving papers in my face. They also yapped at each other.

The Chihuahuas had Zorro’s paw print on a paper that gave them the right to Zorros kennel and half food supplies in case of a divorce. Zorro has been married to Loba for a long time and he cannot possibly legally remarry. Well, Loba lives in the kennel and she has no intention of moving out or sharing any food bowls with Chihuahuas.

Zorro says he can’t read and just put his paw print on the paper to be nice. Or that the paw print is fake. He says he is innocent, that he is a victim of a great scam.

Loba is not letting him in the kennel.

Talk is Nothing

Everyone talks. Bla, bla, bla… improve, bla, bla, bla, metrics, bla, bla, bla, sustainable, bla, bla, bla, crisis, bla, bla, bla, change, bla, bla, bla, forceful, bla, bla bla, action, bla, bla, bla.

Talk is nothing, anything can be said. Action is everything. Don’t listen to talk, advertisements, speeches, presentations. See what is being done.

Probably you find its not much.

BBS – How to Select a Contractor

“You select contractors on one criterion: the lowest price,” said Hubris.

“But should you not do some quality checks,” asked a well-groomed Saluki. “I think one should pay for quality, I for example pay for quality grooming.”

“No,” answered Hubris, “in business, you set out the demands in the bid document and then give the contract to the lowest bidder. If they say they can move a mountain, close your eyes and ears and let them have the job. If they break a few laws, it is their problem! If the contractor whines and wants more time or money, tell them there are others who want the job. This is how you can cut cost and not take responsibility for damages, and if the job is substandard, blame the contractor! It probably will not be noticed for a while anyway, and you are already promoted!”

Zorro was concerned but did not want to object because Hubris mocks everyone that has a question.

BBS – Core Business

Zorro is diligently going to his weekly classes at Backward Business School. He says he is learning a lot. Today he learned about sticking to core business.

“A business should stick to its core activities,” lectured Hubris. “These would be Senior management, Doggy Resources, Payroll, Legal, Offices, Community interactions, Conferences, Meetings etc. This is what corporations are good at, everything else should be contracted out.”

The inquisitive Newfoundlander raised his paw: “But what you list is only administration, there is no business. Do you mean that these services should be kept in-house to serve the real business?”

Hubris looked irritated; “I don’t think you are getting it, Doggy Resources etc is business. It is what we manage!”

The Newfoundlander looked down and muttered something about work. Hubris heard him and said he was not sure he was suited to this course. Zorro kept his mouth shut.

Bark Theory

“In order to rise in a company, you need to be viewed as a leader of dogs. The more you bark, preferably in a deep voice, the more competent you appear. Just bark louder than other dogs, they soon tire and shut up. This is called Bark Theory.”

“But does it not matter what you say?” asked the dowdy Newfoundlander. “You should present good ideas and relevant information, true?”

“Not true,” answered Hubris. “You just need to bark in an assertive way. Noone is listening anyway; it is all appearance. Therefore, you do not need to work on presentations or study hard, just focus on your appearance.”