Author: Flurry

Cash to the Rescue

“I am going to resolve the crisis of low pay and cash flow problems,” said Cash. I am going to issue Tin Bonds. Each bond is worth 10 tins and cost 2 tins. For every bond we sell, we get an additional 8 tins!”

“It is genius, I am a genius!”

The dogs ran to their stacks of savings to buy the good value bonds and so the price of the bonds quickly increased, first to 3 tins, an hour later to 4 tins, and then to 5, 6, and 7 tins!

“We are in business again,” howled Cash. “Because I am such a genius, I am sure you all agree I can have a bonus of 30% of the incoming tins. The rest will go out in the economy to pay all the outstanding salaries. Everyone wins.”

All the dogs danced and cheered for Cash. The dogs that bought the bonds made huge profits, (especially the early investors) and most dogs got a promised pay increase. The new tins in circulation taken from savings paid the outstanding salaries. The economy is good!

Dear Diary, I must be stupid, but I wonder where those tins promised in the bonds came from? What am I not getting?

Shortages

While the economy is booming, the workers in the new businesses are complaining on low pay. “I just can’t live on a tin day,” said a chocolate Labrador, working as a play buddy. “My job is hard; I have to run a lot. The employer said he is willing to pay more but is waiting for his salary from backscratching a large Collie.”

“It is a temporary cash (or tin) flow problem,” said Cash.

Hmm, I think the dogs are eating up the stockpiles and we are actually running out of tins. Nobody thought of producing more tins to share. We are just producing more services.

Climate Change Protests

Goldie, the retired HR manager is active in the Climate Change movement and has organized a protest. She is good at motivating dogs, so there is a big crowd.

“We Want Climate Change,” they shouted, and Goldie egged them on with a megaphone in her paw. “What Do We Want,” she barked. “We Want Global Warming,” the crowd yelled loudly, “We Want Global Warming, We Want Climate Change”. The racket went on for about 10 minutes until a Whippet whispered something into Goldie’s ear.

Goldie started shouting again: “We are against Climate Change, Stop Global Warming!”

The crowd responded, “We Are Against Climate Change, Stop Global Warming! We Are Against Climate Change, Stop Global Warming!”

I don’t like noise, so I was glad when they moved on.

A Growing Economy

Business is booming in Doggy Heaven, it is easy to get a job, everyone is short on staff. There are openings for: shaped dog treat baker, artistic claw painter, numerous positions in dog massage spas, someone is looking for a portrait sculptor, bed fluffer, mood booster (sorry Positron took that one), plenty of opportunities as image consultants, confidence builders, yoga dogs, moon howlers, and the list goes on.

“You see,” said Cash proudly, “now the dogs are spending and not saving, the economy is booming!”

Financial Merry Go Round

“We need to stimulate spending,” said Cash the other day. He should know, he has a degree in Economy.

“It works like this, if dog A buys something, goods or a service, dog B gets paid. Then dog B spends the money and dog C gets an income. And so, it goes until someone pays it all back to dog A! Everyone wins!”

“It really gets good when we spend fast and hard. Think how of much money you can make if you sell more and more, faster and faster! Just make sure to circulate the money and spend as much as you can. Money in the bank is for losers, you have to spend, spend, spend.”

Is this really how it works? My head is spinning.

Royal Scottish Guard Dog Again

Some old lady has died on Earth and Zorro is all in a twist. “We need parades, committees, a general clean up and proper procedures,” he said. He then put on his medals, dressed up in a tartan sash and paraded up and down the park. “I have always served my Earthly masters,” he explained to Loba and myself. “It is the highest duty for a dog, even if you two won’t understand.”

The pedigree club also had a parade, the Corgis were dressed in black and went first. Zorro was not allowed to join their parade. Some Cavalier King Charles Spaniels told him to go away.

“Nobodies,” said Zorro and shook his medals so they clanged together.

High Heels for Loba

Loba is intrigued that lots of females on Earth are wearing shoes with high heels. It seems like some of the most respected females wear the highest heels!

“I wonder what it is for?” she said, “could it be an equalizer to the male dogs? Maybe it helps you run faster and jump higher?”

I have no idea why some females wear high heels. Zorro and I suggested Loba gets a pair, or two pairs, and try for herself. Loba got a red pair and a black pair as she thought they were the most popular colors on Earth.

After a few days she told Zorro the shoes were useless for walking or doing anything. Worse, they were painful and dangerous to wear. She concluded their purpose possibly was to stamp on dangerous snakes. She was throwing hers away.

“Who on Earth would voluntarily wear these crippling objects of torture?”

Women.

What does Zorro want?

“I don’t know what Zorro wants”, said Loba. “He says he does not get what he wants, but when I ask him what it is, he won’t tell me. It is not apple pie, not to go roaming, I tried new slippers but that was not it. I brought him a bone, a tug toy, a new medal, and some bacon. He ate the bacon but is still not satisfied. I asked Goldie for help, and she said that Zorro and I needed to communicate better, but Zorro did not want to talk. I tried a massage, which seemed to help a bit, but not really. Then I suggested we take a stroll in the park, but no he did not want that, I brought him a good stick to carry, I tried a game of hide and seek, but Zorro is not happy. I don’t know what he wants,” said Loba and looked desperate.

“Me neither,” I answered. What does Zorro really want?

Profits

Trust in Toff is continuing to loose money but it’s stock price is just going up and up. Cash has explained it all:

“The bigger the losses and the less business we do, the bigger the potential to grow in the future. TiT’s is a growth stock. The company will probably create enormous profits in the future, invest now and get rich!

Investors are streaming in.

Clients are leaving in droves.

It does not make sense to me, but I never went to economy school.

Call for King

“Zorro!” Loba barked, “earlier today I got a call for King, do you know anything about this?”

Zorro looked bashful for a moment, but answered that he had no idea who King was.

“So this is not you who are the handsome, distinguished, kind and wealthy gentledog seeking female chihuahua for mutual grooming and roly poly play in the park on Doggy Dating?”

“Of course not ,” said Zorro, “it does not sound like me at all.”

“No it does not,” said Loba.