Goldie Resigns

Today, I read on Instadog that Goldie has resigned from TiT. She will get her Golden Parachute and keep all bonuses and the luxury private residence she purchased for Tit’s money as a perk. She will have a company car, security, a private chef, house cleaner and gardener for life. To be fiscally responsible, Cash made her give up the private jet.

Goldie says she does not believe in big business anymore, all she wants is to live a quiet life in nature and to meditate all day. “Wealth is nothing,” she said on Nosebook as she was being groomed. “Tins of dog food does not make you happy, it makes you fat!” She reached for another slice of bacon that a servant dog held up to her. “I might go into the self-improvement business; I like helping dogs.”

“While I connect to my inner self, please think optimistically about the environment,” she said, “Namaste.”

And Goldie bowed.